Clue-by-Four: Ramblings of a Jock Dork

Particle Physics in Action: When Reality and Philosophy Collide on Sunday Nights

Posted in Clue x Fours and Other Tools of Sanity, Jock Dork: It's Who I Am by Wingnut on March 29, 2010

“There’s no crying in baseball!!!”

–Jimmy Dugan (League of their Own)

But apparently, there is a ton of crying in softball! Well, more like complaining and whining, but it sure sounded Sunday night like a few people on the other team needed a box of tissue.

Now, for those of you who remember my last blog (A celebration of why competitive women are straight up hot), you know that my Sunday night “semi” coed team exists with the sole purpose of showing that a team with five women can kick the testosterone out of our all-male opponents.1

This was never more apparent than last night when the opposing pitcher decided that not pitching to the men on the team would somehow increase his chances of winning. All this did was increase the chances that our women would be pissed off, an emotion that often provides a spark of motivation2. (I have a simple philosophy for myself: “Piss me off and I hit the ball harder.”)

With HG out due to injury, HG-Pro-Tem stepped in and launched one over the right fielder’s head. Being proud, she did a little taunting, something about asses and elbows3 (Earlier, she made an out and unleashed a barrage of expletives I can’t possibly repeat…It was kind of cute) . All of the women contributed, from Not-Renee to MW (see NY Mets, circa 1986 for details) to increase our lead.

Then, their pitcher started crying, metaphorically.  He was still not pitching to the guys, but now he was being a pure asshat about it. When Lil’ Lady C made a comment about it, he decided it would be a good time to talk trash. What ensued was a four-minute verbal exchange where C answered each of his taunts. The pitcher was, at the moment, a petulant child who was obviously in need of some psychological counseling thanks to the beating his team was now taking. (Some people just don’t know when it is a good time for them to shut up4).

The festivities culminated with RG being walked to load the bases. C stepped in, seething with anger and venom, and ripped the next pitch she saw over the left fielder’s head, clearing the bases to the delight and excitement of all of her teammates.

Post-mortem:

I suppose one of the reason I enjoy playing with the men on my team is because they see these women with the same admiration that I do. They may not have the Drool! Pant! response or AAOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGA that I suffer from. But I know that their affinity for these women is built upon the same foundation as my out-of-control hormonal response. We like women who kick ass on the field.

I am amused that men can’t handle it. I stated before that women who are winners can be intimidating to many men. I guess it’s only funny until some guy starts crying…then it’s freakin’ hilarious.

Final score, 24-8. Oh, and we are still undefeated.

Footnotes:

  1. We are far from the first team to do this. I umpired a few years ago and there was a team of four women that mercy ruled all of their opponents.
  2. By spark I mean out of control brushfire.
  3. See Down In Mississippi by Sugarland
  4. Often times this is me, but in other situation.
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One Response

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  1. Heather Jo said, on March 29, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    RG gave me the run down on the antics of last night’s game… Reading your version brought it to life. Love it! HG


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