Clue-by-Four: Ramblings of a Jock Dork

Clutter Singlularity (Part next…): Recycling is Hazardous to Your Psyche

Posted in Clue x Fours and Other Tools of Sanity by Wingnut on April 18, 2010

Junk-Recycling Center— Some people have grown so comfortable driving around in their junk truck, they actually begin to patrol the neighborhoods for other people’s junk cans, collect it, recycle them and add them to their collection of junk. These people become the central location for the collection of junk and, much like the junk truck, drag others into the rapidly growing gravitational well.

These are the people who not only ignore their junk, but doom themselves to repeat it by collecting the same junk, over and over and over again. I have one friend, for example [well, more than one friend, I think]1 who has taken her husband back not once, but twice after leaving for another woman [It should be noted at this point that it was a different woman each time]. Now, had she dealt with her junk appropriately either time, he would have been left without a home to come back to [Yes, brain the size of a planet and I ended a sentence with ‘”to”]2 Instead, she spent her nights drinking, chasing “younger” men, and screaming, very loudly [I’m OK. No really. I’M FINE. I LOVE MY LIFE AND BEING SINGLE].

So, when he came slinking back, she was ill prepared to say no and recycled her junk into a “new” relationship with her “same old” husband [you can substitute the words “dog” or “Tiger Woods” for husband, it’s OK]. Now, everyday on Facebook, without fail, it’s: TIGER AND I ARE GETTING CLOSER EVERYDAY. I LOVE MY LIFE SO MUCH. I HAVE MY KIDS AND A GREAT HUSBAND. I LOVE MY LIFE. [See upcoming blog: Just Because You Scream It, Doesn’t Make it True]3

Can anyone see the pattern developing here? How long will it be before he’s off with another woman, yet again? I mean, he managed to cheat on her in both Tennessee and Idaho. [The only thing those places have in common is the mean IQ score] But, he won’t suffer from temptation right? [This is like saying my ex-wife wouldn’t cheat now that we were married…oops..Yeah, I had to learn not to recycle my junk4].

We are doomed unless we recognize quickly what junk is susceptible to recycling, then dispose of it in the proper manner. Granted, it’s a trail-and-error process [mostly error at first] at figuring out what is and isn’t in the recycle bin. Sometimes it’s new recyclable junk that you weren’t even aware of. Other times, it’s you own damn fault [Like when someone labels themselves a “people pleaser” or “honest” and not noticing almost everything they do contradicts that (see upcoming blog: Believe the Opposite of Everything I Say About Myself)]

When these guys start showing up in your dreams, it's time to STOP recycling!

All of us, at one time or another, fall victim to recycled junk. Maybe we didn’t get our trophy for “Best Spitwad” in third grade5 and it haunts us to this day [Hence why you now attack your colleagues with Nerf rifles]. Or, maybe you got that trophy and now believe you deserve to be rewarded for absolutely everything without having to actually do anything, but fail to realize that, since almost everyone else thinks that way, you are pretty much screwed. [Most people do not think you are “special” because, frankly, they are the only ones who have the right to that title].

Ideally, we don’t want to be those people who keep repeating their past junk because, in this case, we are amassing a never-ending stream of new junk. In the end, we will just re-enact old junk in the context of new junk [Example: Hi, I have daddy issues and can’t seem to have a functional relationship6].

I welcome any guest blogs that might enlighten us on how to better recognize our recyclable junk [I can link to you or post it here]

Footnotes:

  1. At least five actually, judging by my blog subscription list.
  2. Two things: Allusion to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; also a PLLLLLLLTTTT to JK
  3. THE BLOG IS WRITTEN AND WILL POST IT TOMORROW. I LOVE MY LIFE AND EVERY BLOG IN IT! WORDPRESS AND I ARE GROWING CLOSER EVERYDAY.
  4. Still a work in progress.
  5. I SWEAR YOUR TROPHY IS ON THE WAY. I LOVE MY LIFE AND EVERY TROPHY IN IT!
  6. Or, “Hi, you have daddy issues…want to go on a date?”
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3 Responses

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  1. […] and Other Junkmeres (First 3 levels of junk) *Purchased our very own Municipal Junk Truck * And visited the Junk Recycling Center Now, for the final level of junk. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch – As more and more people […]

  2. […] Needless to say, the behavior exposes some clear relationship and communications issues that a person must deal with before they can hope to have a functional relationship. Yet, most of these people are content to live on Denial Island, never digging themselves out of their own junk. […]

  3. […] you call me a killjoy or cynic, you need to know a few key facts [If you read about Recycled Junk, you already recognize this […]


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