Clue-by-Four: Ramblings of a Jock Dork

You Job Opportunity is Not That Into You: “Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.”

Posted in Clue x Fours and Other Tools of Sanity by Wingnut on June 25, 2010

[Interactive blog-reading: Due to time constraints (otherwise known as the upcoming Yankees v. Dodgers game I’m attending), I will not have time to edit or add footnotes in my usual, sardonic, comedic style. Thus, I invite you to post typos, grammatical mistakes, and possible footnotes in my comments section. In fact, I DEMAND IT! I will the add the edits/footnotes into the blog and give you credit for doing so. Now, have fun!]

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta!

By now, we’ve all heard the expression “He’s Just Not That Into You” applied to all forms of relationships from dating to marriage. But there are other places that these principles can be applied. For example: “Your cat/dog’s not that into you”; “Your friends just aren’t that into you”; and, of course, “Your tweeps are just not that into you.” What about professionally?

This afternoon, I turned down a job interview because “That job opportunity is not that into me.”

Some of you may be pulling your hair out. Others are screaming at your monitors/smartphones/iPads, “What the hell? CB4, you need employment for September!” [It just occurred to me was CB4 also stands for and I’m singing “Straight Outta Lo Cash”].

Technically, I’m not at the point of desperation yet and have a plan for survival in the event I am stuck on unemployment for a period of time. I don’t have to jump at just any old opportunity. I can be selective. [I figure this part appeals to “Rules” people like @askmsalpha. The connection gets even better, just wait].

For the past two weeks, I’ve been applying for jobs online at almost every place within a 100-mile radius. This may require relocation. But, if it comes to it, I will commute Fri-Sun to spend every weekend with my daughters. It was close to the setup this year and can be done for 10 months again if need be. I’m hoping it won’t come to that.

This afternoon, I got my first call for an interview. I was pretty excited to return the voicemail. This was a charter school located in an area where I could move to within 10 miles of my girls. The excitement lasted until I called the woman back. She explained that the she was trying to squeeze me in at 8:30 Monday morning.

Thought process: Crap. I teach summer school. The office is closed for the day and I know I can’t get a sub in such a short period of time. I suppose I could try early Monday morning. I already had to miss one day already and will have to miss another, can I miss three when we drop our students after three absences?

I informed her that I taught summer school and would be unable to make that interview time. I asked if she had anything after 1 p.m. next week and she explained she was booked.

“I’ll be sure to call you if we are still looking for someone,” she said.

“Well, let me see if I can do something. I will call you back if I can arrange for a sub,” I replied.

More thinking: I am only a few miles from my school, maybe I could round up someone who had an administrators home phone number. Maybe I can cancel on the person I’m supposed to help in two weeks? Can I afford to give up $135? Wait stupid, this is a possible job.

My brain was bombarded with choices and scenarios.

In the end, I opted to make $135 on Monday instead.

Yes, $135.

I want this interview as much as I want this fax machine

Am I crazy? Perhaps. However, if you can’t see it, I’ll spell it out. “This job is not that into me and I’m not going to sacrifice my students, my friend or $135 for a job that doesn’t want me” [I wonder if the aforementioned Alpha female knows already where I am going with this].

Consider the facts:

  • Applications for the job closed early this week. Ample time to properly schedule an interview.
  • She called at 1 p.m. on a Friday to schedule an interview for 8:30 a.m. on Monday. That does not give me any time or flexibility to make arrangements if I need to.
  • She said she was trying to squeeze me in to her interview schedule. [This suggests that I was not initially selected for an interview and was an afterthought].
  • When I indicated that I had a very good reason for not being available, she made no attempt to alter her schedule to meet mine.

Let us alter the players with the same facts:

  • He’s had your phone number for a couple weeks and he’s calling you this afternoon to see if you want to go out tonight.
  • You need advanced notice because you need a babysitter or someone to play with your cats (because we know @turnjacson won’t take care of them).
  • He said he was trying to squeeze me in to his busy schedule for the weekend and this was the only time he had open.
  • When you said you would be able to get together, he said he would call you at a later date if he was still single.

So, if someone offered you $135 not to go on a date with this guy, you would be making a down payment on a new coach purse the next morning. Why, because it is clear that this guy isn’t really interested in you and, for whatever reason, feels the need to come up with a “token” date for you to go on. You would be an idiot to go on the date [Sadly, some women would not only go on this date, but would do so repeatedly chasing the elusive male in question].

It stands to reason, then, when you apply the same principles, this HR person just isn’t that interested in interviewing me. Otherwise, she would me more than happy to accommodate my needs and priorities right?

My last job loved Kung Fu, hated flair, and looked like Jennifer "F'N" Aniston!

Is it wrong for me to want a job that thinks I’m a commodity to be aggressively fought for, not an afterthought. I want a job to be like my most recent ex-Jobfriend. That job and I were like star-crossed lovers. I gave everything to it and, when feuding families got in the way [My district has far more drama that the Montagues and Capulets ever could] and the budget got tight, my job did everything possible to keep me from finding another job. Even know it calls out to me, saddened by fact that warring factions have depleted the coffers.

Wow, I do like extended metaphor don’t I. I also sound like I’m talking about the kind of guy every woman hopes they fall in love with.

Funny thing, I’m not allowing myself to feel desperate for a job, which allows me to make better choices.

See, I must be on to something. Dating principles can be applied to job hunting, and vice versa [Some of you may find this blog more useful for your dating lives than for your professional ones]. Consider what desperation might have cost me besides $135? What does it cost you in dating?

Monday morning, they will be hiring someone who is desperate for a job and won’t be interested in staying around long. Monday morning, they will fall in love with someone who will break their heart when he/she finds the job he/she really wants. Monday morning, they could have met with someone who was open to falling in love with a new job, loyalty you can’t find in those who are just desperate in this economy. Monday morning, I will look at my watch at 8:30 and think of what might have been…for them, not me because I know I will love again.

Monday morning, I’ll be making $135.

UPDATE: Within seconds of posting this blog, I got another call for an interview from a job I REALLY WANT! See, the universe must really like this blog! You should too.

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6 Responses

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  1. Zoë Blue said, on June 25, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    I DO like this blog post. Quite a bit actually! I wish I knew HOW to annotate it with footnotes, though. Suggestions?

    Anyway, I like the connection you make between relationships and jobs. May I add another? I’ve always thought it was prudent to apply to multiple jobs at the same time so that you don’t come across as “desperate” when you get to the interview stage. That way if you get an interview, at the back of your mind you’re not panicking or wondering, “IS THIS THE ONLY JOB I’LL GET?! ARGH!!!” No, what you’ll be thinking is, “Is this a job that will make me happy? If not, no worries there are plenty more jobs out there for me.” The same, as you know where I’m going, applies to dating. Keeping your options open will allow you to think more clearly, assess the situation more logically and know when it’s appropriate to leap in and say YES. But until then, you remain calm, cool and very non-desperate. Because hey, there are other fish in that big sea.

    • theteacher174 said, on June 25, 2010 at 11:09 pm

      And, UPDATE 2: I have an interview Wednesday morning. See, I gave up an interview for $135, which I can now spend Wed taking a shot at a job I really want. I love how things just work out sometimes the way the should!

      • Zoë Blue said, on June 25, 2010 at 11:19 pm

        That is all kinds of awesome. 🙂

  2. KLZ said, on June 26, 2010 at 12:40 am

    can the universe get me mortgage? or a rootbeer float?

    seriously though, nice choice. good luck.

  3. Miss Alpha said, on June 26, 2010 at 4:11 am

    I didn’t realize you were posting this TODAY! 🙂

    Being unemployed more than once this past year, I have found that dating principles apply to job hunting. Another important fact to note: the more desperate you are, the less they want you. You’ve got to play it at least a little bit cool to keep demand high.

    Also, these rules apply to friendship. You know that friend that only calls you last minute? Yeah, you’re an afterthought to her, too.

    PS: It’s @askmissalpha 🙂

  4. Skye Blue said, on June 28, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    Love this post. I would have never thought of comparing job hunting to dating, but the metaphor works.

    Good luck with the interview for the dream job.

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