Clue-by-Four: Ramblings of a Jock Dork

Being Badass and Other Traits of a Man of Action

Posted in Clue x Fours and Other Tools of Sanity, Jock Dork: It's Who I Am by Wingnut on August 5, 2010

It seems like weekly I’m leaving at least one interview feeling really good about my presentation and, weekly, I’m being hit in the mouth by multiple rejections. Yesterday was the latest in this push/pull existence, with two great interviews and three rejections [only one of which called me for an interview].

This post is not about complaining and trying to garner sympathy [though I will never complain when I get it]. It is about being a man of action1.

Yesterday, I interviewed for a position that had over 220 applications for a location in the barrio. I received another e-mail letting me know my application was being reviewed as part of over 200 for a high school position. A friend of mine told me that over 400 people applied for one position at her school.

Yeah, I’m…

With all of these laid off teachers, it’s a shark tank out there and the water has been chummed by politicians and beauracrats. Each open position is a drop of blood in the water and, if you’ve seen Shark Week, you know how that ends.

Being a man of action, I have tried to find ways to rise about the fray. Currently, I pass around my iPhone [No, not because they are wielding a droid and am an Apple snob]. I have two PowerPoint portfolios of student work uploaded to my phone.

Yesterday’s interviews included specific questions about a project displayed. The same student project piqued their interest. Obviously, it is proving an effective technique for displaying the best of what I have to offer. 2 It also proves I’m badass.

Yeah, you heard me. I’m badass3. Don’t believe me? Consider this: I may be the only one doing this. During or after at least five interviews in the past few weeks, panel members have commented that my presentation is a great idea and I am the first candidate ever to use this method of presentation [One of the APs yesterday even said I win brownie points for it].

See how badass I am? It seems so obvious to use Smartphones for portfolios. I’m shocked to hear I’m the only one, but I love being an innovator. [I’m considering purchasing an iPad for this very reason. Next level people?]

Back to the Task at Hand

I’ve been at this a couple months and, as you can read here, I am thoroughly exhausted by the process and feel for those who have been unemployed for far longer than I have. I’m not here to talk about that because I am a man of action. I have already begun formulating a plan ‘B’.

In many places, school is two to four weeks away. I still have some time. But, I don’t believe in waiting until the last moment. Men of action anticipate the future and plan for it.

Plan B for ClueXFour the English teacher involves the following:

  • Keep looking everyday [There will be jobs that come up even after the school year starts. To win, I must be diligent and steadfast in my pursuit]
  • Look for substitute openings in a desired target area [Since I’m already a sub in my former district, I am free to target those districts that I might like to work for in the future. It is all about getting a foot in the door and face recognition].
  • Figure out which CSET I can pass in the next 6-10 months and work on passing it. Be it science, math, social science, PE. Adding more authorizations to my credential opens up which jobs I can apply for next year. I am a quick study and an amazing test taker [In other words, let me see what I can BS my way through].
  • MASTER’S DEGREE. I have yet to decide whether it will be in English or Education. Either way, it will suspend student loan payments for a while and will make me even more qualified for next summer’s job hunt. It will also show that I’m not just sitting around moping about losing my full-time position.
  • Look for professional development opportunities: If there are conferences and seminars I can sign up for on the cheap, I will be sure to attend so that I will be even more prepared to meet the education challenges of tomorrow, or at least BS about them. It will also demonstrate my serious to not just mope jobless.
  • Even if I do get a job, consider any of the previous three options anyway, just in case.4
  • Focus on getting rid of some monthly bills so that I have even more freedom, financially, during the next round of job interviews.

This plan is still in the beginning stages of implementation. I am hopeful that today works out…or tomorrow works out. There is the possibility that my old district may call me back once Congress gets this bill passed to rehire teachers, firefighters and police officers. However, my district has made many poor choices and there is no telling on how they will try to spend the money.

At the moment, that is the future. Today, I’ll take some advice a long-time friend always has for times like them:

Get piss drunk and get laid!56

SIDENOTES:

  • A friend informed me that the minimum GPA for community college transfer students who hope to go to Cal State Fullerton has been raised to 3.7. Yes, you read that right. So much for equal access to education. When a CSU is using such high GPA’s as a screening method, a lot of students will be left out.
  • With Congress set to try to pass the emergency jobs bill next week, it will be interesting to see how districts choose to spend that money on recalling staff. In my experience, politics often get in the way of doing the right thing.
  • I can predict the future. Don’t believe me. I’m about to make a prediction for August/September:
    • Assuming the jobs bill passes, I’m willing to bet a number of teachers who have been hired this summer will scramble back to the security of “tenure” at their old districts. I am predicting at least one district that interviewed me will lose their new hire the moment their previous district recalls them. I’m willing to bet, though there will be no way to prove it, that at least one administrator will think “Why didn’t we hire that guy with the iPhone.”

Footnotes:

  1. C’mon! You know you want to be one too!
  2. No, it doesn’t mean they will hire me. It just means I’m finding ways to display the best of what I have to offer.
  3. Just face it, I rock. You can rock like me too…action people!
  4. Yes, I’m insane. I know.
  5. Any volunteers to help? For the second part…I can handle getting piss drunk on my own thank you.
  6. What? Did you think being a man of action was always about being responsible?
Advertisements

You Job Opportunity is Not That Into You: “Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.”

Posted in Clue x Fours and Other Tools of Sanity by Wingnut on June 25, 2010

[Interactive blog-reading: Due to time constraints (otherwise known as the upcoming Yankees v. Dodgers game I’m attending), I will not have time to edit or add footnotes in my usual, sardonic, comedic style. Thus, I invite you to post typos, grammatical mistakes, and possible footnotes in my comments section. In fact, I DEMAND IT! I will the add the edits/footnotes into the blog and give you credit for doing so. Now, have fun!]

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta!

By now, we’ve all heard the expression “He’s Just Not That Into You” applied to all forms of relationships from dating to marriage. But there are other places that these principles can be applied. For example: “Your cat/dog’s not that into you”; “Your friends just aren’t that into you”; and, of course, “Your tweeps are just not that into you.” What about professionally?

This afternoon, I turned down a job interview because “That job opportunity is not that into me.”

Some of you may be pulling your hair out. Others are screaming at your monitors/smartphones/iPads, “What the hell? CB4, you need employment for September!” [It just occurred to me was CB4 also stands for and I’m singing “Straight Outta Lo Cash”].

Technically, I’m not at the point of desperation yet and have a plan for survival in the event I am stuck on unemployment for a period of time. I don’t have to jump at just any old opportunity. I can be selective. [I figure this part appeals to “Rules” people like @askmsalpha. The connection gets even better, just wait].

For the past two weeks, I’ve been applying for jobs online at almost every place within a 100-mile radius. This may require relocation. But, if it comes to it, I will commute Fri-Sun to spend every weekend with my daughters. It was close to the setup this year and can be done for 10 months again if need be. I’m hoping it won’t come to that.

This afternoon, I got my first call for an interview. I was pretty excited to return the voicemail. This was a charter school located in an area where I could move to within 10 miles of my girls. The excitement lasted until I called the woman back. She explained that the she was trying to squeeze me in at 8:30 Monday morning.

Thought process: Crap. I teach summer school. The office is closed for the day and I know I can’t get a sub in such a short period of time. I suppose I could try early Monday morning. I already had to miss one day already and will have to miss another, can I miss three when we drop our students after three absences?

I informed her that I taught summer school and would be unable to make that interview time. I asked if she had anything after 1 p.m. next week and she explained she was booked.

“I’ll be sure to call you if we are still looking for someone,” she said.

“Well, let me see if I can do something. I will call you back if I can arrange for a sub,” I replied.

More thinking: I am only a few miles from my school, maybe I could round up someone who had an administrators home phone number. Maybe I can cancel on the person I’m supposed to help in two weeks? Can I afford to give up $135? Wait stupid, this is a possible job.

My brain was bombarded with choices and scenarios.

In the end, I opted to make $135 on Monday instead.

Yes, $135.

I want this interview as much as I want this fax machine

Am I crazy? Perhaps. However, if you can’t see it, I’ll spell it out. “This job is not that into me and I’m not going to sacrifice my students, my friend or $135 for a job that doesn’t want me” [I wonder if the aforementioned Alpha female knows already where I am going with this].

Consider the facts:

  • Applications for the job closed early this week. Ample time to properly schedule an interview.
  • She called at 1 p.m. on a Friday to schedule an interview for 8:30 a.m. on Monday. That does not give me any time or flexibility to make arrangements if I need to.
  • She said she was trying to squeeze me in to her interview schedule. [This suggests that I was not initially selected for an interview and was an afterthought].
  • When I indicated that I had a very good reason for not being available, she made no attempt to alter her schedule to meet mine.

Let us alter the players with the same facts:

  • He’s had your phone number for a couple weeks and he’s calling you this afternoon to see if you want to go out tonight.
  • You need advanced notice because you need a babysitter or someone to play with your cats (because we know @turnjacson won’t take care of them).
  • He said he was trying to squeeze me in to his busy schedule for the weekend and this was the only time he had open.
  • When you said you would be able to get together, he said he would call you at a later date if he was still single.

So, if someone offered you $135 not to go on a date with this guy, you would be making a down payment on a new coach purse the next morning. Why, because it is clear that this guy isn’t really interested in you and, for whatever reason, feels the need to come up with a “token” date for you to go on. You would be an idiot to go on the date [Sadly, some women would not only go on this date, but would do so repeatedly chasing the elusive male in question].

It stands to reason, then, when you apply the same principles, this HR person just isn’t that interested in interviewing me. Otherwise, she would me more than happy to accommodate my needs and priorities right?

My last job loved Kung Fu, hated flair, and looked like Jennifer "F'N" Aniston!

Is it wrong for me to want a job that thinks I’m a commodity to be aggressively fought for, not an afterthought. I want a job to be like my most recent ex-Jobfriend. That job and I were like star-crossed lovers. I gave everything to it and, when feuding families got in the way [My district has far more drama that the Montagues and Capulets ever could] and the budget got tight, my job did everything possible to keep me from finding another job. Even know it calls out to me, saddened by fact that warring factions have depleted the coffers.

Wow, I do like extended metaphor don’t I. I also sound like I’m talking about the kind of guy every woman hopes they fall in love with.

Funny thing, I’m not allowing myself to feel desperate for a job, which allows me to make better choices.

See, I must be on to something. Dating principles can be applied to job hunting, and vice versa [Some of you may find this blog more useful for your dating lives than for your professional ones]. Consider what desperation might have cost me besides $135? What does it cost you in dating?

Monday morning, they will be hiring someone who is desperate for a job and won’t be interested in staying around long. Monday morning, they will fall in love with someone who will break their heart when he/she finds the job he/she really wants. Monday morning, they could have met with someone who was open to falling in love with a new job, loyalty you can’t find in those who are just desperate in this economy. Monday morning, I will look at my watch at 8:30 and think of what might have been…for them, not me because I know I will love again.

Monday morning, I’ll be making $135.

UPDATE: Within seconds of posting this blog, I got another call for an interview from a job I REALLY WANT! See, the universe must really like this blog! You should too.

Tagged with: , , ,